Determination Feels Damn Good

The background to this post can be found here : Change The Way You See Everything

I am so encouraged by the words of the authors of the book in the comments of my previous posts!  With a few short words, they have strengthened my resolve to post a new thought on the book each day, continue to practice and entrench the behaviours in my life – in short, I am more determined than ever. 

The way I see it, disappointment is a feeling I get when something doesn’t go the way I expected or planned.  I’ve often spoken of my ridiculously high expectations as the main cause of grief when it comes to dealing with disappointments.

But with Asset-Based-Thinking, I am realising that having high expectations isn’t necessarily a flaw that I need to modify – it can be an asset, so long as I approach those expectations with thinking and behaviours that will help me to continue to strive for them. It’s as much about the journey as the destination.

Determination is such a great feeling.  It feels like something is growing inside of me, giving me strength and courage to face anything.  I’ve always been a very determined person, and on face value most would say that my defiance in the face of adversity is the main reason I have overcome any ‘disappointments’ in my life.

However, I think I can go one better than that.  Bypass disappointment entirely and skip straight to the good feelings of determination.  If I can really build my asset based thinking and behaviours to view situations that I didn’t expect as a challenge rather than a threat to my happiness, then I won’t have room for disappointments!

A challenging situation gives me scope to show the world what I’m made of, take the power to overcome the challenge into my own hands. For example, I’ve spoken about the communication difficulties I have in my relationship. I try my best to view these as challenges I can overcome together with Adam’s commitment to do so too. To view or subconsciously label that same situation as a threat to my happiness allows a certain ‘lack of control’ feeling to creep in which makes the situation seem hopeless and insurmountable.

This is definitely one I need to work on, for many years, Adam didn’t display the same desires to better himself and our relationship as I did. And now that he does take an interest in improving, I would say that sometimes I struggle with the speed of our progress, I am inpatient and too regularly throw my hands in the air, resigning myself to the ‘inevitable’ disappointment. But who am I to set the timeframe for our progress? By focusing more on the journey than the destination, I can enjoy the little wins, support him in his determination to improve and approach each new challenge as a lesson from which I can learn.

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