Help please

OK, so I am hoping I can word this email well enough to convey what I mean without offending anyone.

I am in the middle of a six week detox (#039) and the reason I decided to do this detox is because a) I got really sick and decided I should listen to my body and give it a rest, b) my skin has lost complete control of it’s ability to look smooth and clear, and c) I put on a few kilos over winter from all my comfort-eating and I want to lose them before summer and before the wedding.

My detox consists of a lot of No-No’s
No meat (fish ok)
No alcohol
No cow’s milk products (but soy and goat’s milk are ok)
No white flour-based products (but wholegrain and gluten free are ok)
No caffeine
No sweets

To be honest, I feel FANTASTIC.  My eyes are brighter, my skin is clearing up, I no longer feel lethargic and bloated all the time, and the best bit is, I don’t miss meat at ALL.  I am also so proud of my willpower and strength to resist especially when I feel like taking a small child’s life so I can steal the chocolate bar from his lips.

So I am half way with this detox and I am also midway through whitening my teeth with my dentist and a take-home whitening kit.

This has led to my fiance telling me that I am vain.  Yes, vain.  Which really pisses me off, frankly.  To my mind, if I was vain I would look in the mirror and go “yeah, I’m so hot” and be a little wrapped up in myself to boot.  Is that what you guys think vanity is?

I think my efforts to improve myself are mostly to feel good about myself and partially to stay physically attractive to my partner.  Yes, I take pride in the way I look and get uncomfortable when my clothes get a little tighter over winter, but essentially I know when enough is enough and I get off my arse and do something about it.

Based on his vanity accusations (and a few other very arrogant comments on his part this week), I have found myself really casting a negative and critical eye back on him.  I’ll admit that we’ve had a few jokes together about his weight.  He’s put on about 8 kilos since I first met him.  But to be honest, as a day to day thing it doesn’t bother me.  I’ll also admit that sometimes I wished he wasn’t so lazy and took more pride in his appearance, but most days that really just means I wish he brushed his teeth and showered more regularly.

So here is my dilemma, this week I have really started to feel negatively about his lack of interest in bettering himself, physically and otherwise.  This reaction (and I know it’s my reaction) is affecting my levels of attraction to him.  I made a really rude comment the other day, but immediately apologised for it because I knew instantly I was out of line.  But I don’t get apologies for being told I am vain…  I want to encourage and support him to take some pride in his appearance, eat better, do more exercise and show some initiative… but I don’t even know where to start.  Can you do that for someone that doesn’t care in the first place?



1 Comment

  1. If dairy is making you feel bloated (that would be my bet), there’s a simple solution.

    Most of us largely stop producing lactase — the small intestine enzyme that breaks down lactose into simpler sugars — after we are weaned off mother’s milk. If your body can’t digest it, friendly bacteria in your intestine munch it up for you, and generate carbon dioxide, which makes you feel gassy and bloated. Some people are just more able to feel it than others.

    Sure, you could just avoid dairy, but dairy is AWESOME, and an extremely versatile tool in a chef’s arsenal. So what’s the alternative? This:

    You can take one of these tablets any time you’re about to dose up on dairy, and they’ll load you up with the lactase enzyme, letting you avoid bloat and get more nutrition out of the milk to boot. (This is the same thing that is in ‘lactose free’ milks, which actually still contain lactose). Ain’t science grand.


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